The Miser Brothers in Who's on first?
by BuddyJack
Summary: Snow Miser and Heat Miser are on their way to Coolsville to help out Scooby's baseball team. The problem is, one of the brothers know's the names and nicknames of the kids, the other doesn't. See what happens when they agrue about who's who in baseball.


The Miser brothers in Who's on first?

Snow Miser as Abbott

Heat Miser as Costello

Snow Miser: Well Heat, I'm going to Coolsville with you, like mother wants us to, and you know Scooby Doo, the Cool kid's manager gave me job as coach for as long as your on the team.

Heat Miser: Look Snow, if your the coach, you must know all the players.

Snow Miser: I certainly do, why wouldn't I, and why you wounder?

Heat Miser: Well, you see I never met the kids, so I need you to tell me their names and nicknames so that I'll know who's playing on the team, fair enough?

Snow Miser: Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you their names, but you know, it seems to me they give these ball players from Callaway and Gimmwood now-a-days very peculiar nicknames.

Heat Miser: You mean funny names?

Snow Miser: Strange names, pet names like, Tug Rover is called Dizzy Dean...

Heat Miser: What about his sister?

Snow Miser: Winnie Rover is called Daffy Dean...

Heat Miser: ...And their fat cousin...

Snow Miser: You mean Grunt Rover?

Heat Miser: Goofe' right?

Snow Miser: Goofe' Dean, now I see. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, we have Miguel called Who on first, Phantasma called What on second, and Scrappy called I Don't Know on third.

Heat Miser: That's what I want to find out.

Snow Miser: I said Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third...

Heat Miser: You met the manager?

Snow Miser: Yes.

Heat Miser: You going to be the coach of his team from Coolsville?

Snow Miser: Yes.

Heat Miser: And you don't know the kids nicknames for baseball?

Snow Miser: Well I should.

Heat Miser: Well then, who's on first?

Snow Miser: Who.

Heat Miser: I mean the kid's nickname.

Snow Miser: Who.

Heat Miser: The kid on first.

Snow Miser: Who!

Heat Miser: The kid playing...

Snow Miser: Who's on first!

Heat Miser: What are you asking me for? I'm asking you!

Snow Miser: I'm not asking you I'm telling you!

Heat Miser: Your not telling me nothing!

Snow Miser: Yes I am!

Heat Miser: Well then Who's on first?

Snow Miser: That's the kids nickname!

Heat Miser: That's Who's nickname?

Snow Miser: Yes!

Heat Miser: We'll go ahead and tell me!

Snow Miser: That's it!

Heat Miser: That's who?

Snow Miser: Yes.

(Pause)

Heat Miser: You know the kid on first base?

Snow Miser: Yes.

Heat Miser: Who's on first?

Snow Miser: That's right.

Heat Miser: When some one pays allowance off to the kid on first every month, who gets the money?

Snow Miser: Every dollar of it.

Heat Miser: All I'm tyring to find out is the nickname of the kid on first base.

Snow Miser: Who.

Heat Miser: Who's on first?

Snow Miser: That's it!

Heat Miser: Who gets the money?!

Snow Miser: He dose, every dollar of it! Some time his mother comes down and collects it.

Heat Miser: Who's mother?

Snow Miser: Yes.

(Pause)

Snow Miser: What's wrong with that?

Heat Miser: Look, all I want to know is when this Miguel kid sings his name and his nickname, how dose he sign his nickname?!

Snow Miser: Who.

Heat Miser: The kid playing first!

Snow Miser: Who.

Heat Miser: How dose he sign it?!

Snow Miser: That's how he signs it.

Heat Miser: That's how who signs it?

Snow Miser: Yes.

(Pause)

Heat Miser: All I want to know is what's the kids nickname on first base!

Snow Miser: No, What is on second base!

Heat Miser: I'm not asking you who's on second!!!

Snow Miser: Who's on first!

Heat Miser: One base at a time, will ya!!!

Snow Miser: Well don't changing the players around!

Heat Miser: I'm not changing nobody!!!

Snow Miser: Take it easy, bro.

Heat Miser: All I'm asking you is who's on first!

Snow Miser: That's it.

Heat Miser: Okay.

Snow Miser: Alright.

(Pause)

Heat Miser: What's the kids nickname on first base?!?

Snow Miser: No, What is on second!

Heat Miser: I'm not asking you who's on second!!!

Snow Miser: Who's on first!

Heat Miser: I don't know!

Snow Miser: Oh, he's on third, were not talking about him!

(Pause)

Heat Miser: Now wait a minute! How did I get on third base?!

Snow Miser: Why, you mentioned his nickname.

Heat Miser: If I mentioned the nickname of the kid on third base, who did I say is on third?

Snow Miser: No, Who's on first!

Heat Miser: Stay off of first!!!

Snow Miser: Well what is it you want to know?!

Heat Miser: What's the kid's nickname on third?!

Snow Miser: What's on second!

Heat Miser: I'm not asking you who's on second!!!

Snow Miser: Who's on first!

Heat Miser: I don't know!

Snow Miser: He's on third!

Heat Miser: There I go back on third base!

Snow Miser: Well I can't change their nicknames!

(Pause)

Heat Miser: Would you just stay on third base and not go off it?!

Snow Miser: All right, what do you need to know?

Heat Miser: Now who's playing third base?!

Snow Miser: Why do you insist on putting who on third base?!

Heat Miser: What am I puting on third?!?

Snow Miser: No, What is on second!

Heat Miser: You don't want who on second?!

Snow Miser: Who's on first!

Heat Miser: I don't know!

Both: Third base!!!

(Pause)

Heat Miser: Look, Look, Look, you know the kids that are playing out field, right?

Snow Miser: Of course I do, and the one playing left field is known as Tanis the Mummy.

Heat Miser: Can you tell me what her nickname is?

Snow Miser: Why.

Heat Miser: ... I just thought I'd ask ya!

Snow Miser: Well I just thought I'd tell ya!

Heat Miser: Then tell me who's playing left field!

Snow Miser: Who's playing first!

Heat Miser: I'm not... Stay out of the in field!!!! I want to know what the left fielder's nickname is!

Snow Miser: No, What is on second!

Heat Miser: I'm not asking you who's on second!!!

Snow Miser: Who's on first!

Heat Miser: I don't know!

Both: Third base!!!

(Pause)

Heat Miser: And the left fielder's nickname?!

Snow Miser: Why!

Heat Miser: ...Hmmm... Because!!!

Snow Miser: Oh, That's Jamaal on center field.

Heat Miser: Center field?!?!?

(Pause)

Heat Miser: You know the pitcher?

Snow Miser: Of course I do, it's Elsa.

Heat Miser: Can you tell me her nickname?

Snow Miser: Tomorrow.

Heat Miser: ...What, you don't want to tell me today?!

Snow Miser: I'm telling you now!

Heat Miser: Well go ahead!

Snow Miser: Tomorrow!

Heat Miser: What Time?!

Snow Miser: What do you mean 'what time'?

Heat Miser: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching?!

Snow Miser: Now listen! Who is not pitching, who's...

Heat Miser: I'll melt your arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's nickname!

Snow Miser: What's on second!

Heat Miser: I don't know!

Both: Third base!!!

(Pause)

Heat Miser: Know the catcher?

Snow Miser: Sure, that's Baxter.

Heat Miser: And his nickname is...?

Snow Miser: Today.

Heat Miser: Today. You don't want to tell me today, or tomorrow, do you. So, The catcher's nickname?

Snow Miser: Today.

Heat Miser: Today, and Tomorrow's pitching.

Snow Miser: Now you've got it!

Heat Miser: Now I've got it, oy! All Coolsville has is a couple of days on the team.

Snow Miser: Well I can't help that.

Heat Miser: Picture this, I get behind to do some fancy catching and Tomorrow's pitching on my team, and a heavy hitter bunts the ball, when he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm going to the kid on first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Snow Miser: Now that's the first thing you said right.

(Pause)

Heat Miser: I don't even know what I'm talking about!!!

Snow Miser: That's all you have to do.

Heat Miser: Is to throw the ball to first base!

Snow Miser: Yes.

Heat Miser: Now who's got it?!

Snow Miser: Naturally.

Heat Miser: Right.

(Pause)

Heat Miser: Look, if I throw the ball to first, some body's got to get it! Now who's got it?!

Snow Miser: Naturally.

Heat Miser: Who?

Snow Miser: Naturally.

Heat Miser: Naturally?

Snow Miser: Naturally.

Heat Miser: So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.

Snow Miser: Ye... Oh no, no, no, no! You throw it to Who.

Heat Miser: Well then who gets it?

Snow Miser: Naturally.

Heat Miser: I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.

Snow Miser: No you don't throw it to Naturally, that's the nickname of Cybella on Right field! You throw the ball to Who.

Heat Miser: Naturally.

Snow Miser: That's different.

Heat Miser: That's what I said!

Snow Miser: Your not saying it!

Heat Miser: I throw the ball to Naturally!

Snow Miser: You throw it to Who!

Heat Miser: Naturally.

Snow Miser: That's it.

Heat Miser: That's what I said!!!

Snow Miser: Now listen, you ask me!

Heat Miser: I throw the ball to who?

Snow Miser: Naturally.

Heat Miser: Now you ask me.

Snow Miser: You throw it to who?

Heat Miser: Naturally.

Snow Miser: That's it.

Heat Miser: Same as you!

(Pause)

Snow Miser: Now... Stop changing the...

Heat Miser: Same as you!!!

Snow Miser: Alright, just get it over with!

Heat Miser: I throw the ball to Who! Who ever it is drops the ball and a kid runs to second.

Snow Miser: Yes.

Heat Miser: Who picks up the ball and throws it to What, What throw it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, triple play.

Snow Miser: Yes.

Heat Miser: Another kid gets up to bat and hits a long fly ball to Today, who throws it to Naturally, who throws it to Because, Why, I Don't Know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!!!

(Pause)

Snow Miser: What did you say?

Heat Miser: I said I don't give a darn!!!

Snow Miser: Oh, that's the nickname of Shaggy Rogers, who's playing Coolsville's mascot.

**Poor Heat Miser, he's going to have a hard time on who's who when he meets Scrappy, the Callaway Cadettes, and Grimwood Girls. (R&R)**


End file.
